WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO

We've all been there. Truth be told, I'm there often! So what do you do when you're stuck in a fog? When you don't know what to do?

I am no expert, let's make that clear, but as someone who often finds herself in this kind of situation, I do know what works for me and usually, I find it's just one of two things - MOVE or DO NOTHING.

Let's talk about movement first because I'm a big fan of it and I'm not just talking exercise here. Sometimes when we don't know what to do, we go into freeze mode don't we? We pause or hesitate. Fear overtakes us and mental paralysis kicks in, good and proper.

So when this happens to me, this is what I do. I try to change the energy by moving. Which basically means I move myself or take an action. I do something.

When the words won't come and I want or need to write, for me that's as simple as moving chairs or rooms. (Try it, it works!) This alone often gets my creative juices flowing nicely. Or if I find myself struggling to come up with a solution with a personal problem, I'll take myself off for a little a walk or have a potter round the house. I mean, I've even been known to crank up the tunes and have a solo dance in the kitchen.

I often find that the best way to deal with something when you don't know what to do, is to move and get energy flowing again. In your brain, through your limbs, to very core of your being. Try it next time something stops you in your tracks. Be stubborn and somehow, in some shape or form, get moving. Change your environment, move your body or take a simple action that you know will get you nearer to the solution like sending that email you've been putting off or ordering something you need to help you move forward. It's simple stuff and more often than not, it works.

But what if it doesn't?! Well, this is when I do the absolute opposite.

It may sound a little crazy - and indeed, perhaps I am?! - but bear with me. When movement doesn't get me out of a funk, that's when I know I need to quieten everything down and do nothing. This is when I trust and wait.

Patience is not my forte, but when I really don't know what to do and movement isn't helping, I've realised that the best approach is to wait it out. To try to forget about whatever it is that needs tackling (if possible) and to give it some space. To give it time and trust that the answer will come, even if I do wish it would come to me a hell of a lot quicker! Have you ever noticed that when you relax, ideas come? It happens to me all of the time and has caught me out on more than one occasion! Take writing for example. I don't know why (I don't make the rules!) but weirdly, my best writing ideas always seem to come to me, not when I'm sat at my desk ready to write or when I'm jotting down notes, but when I'm in the shower. Yes, really.

Or if they don't pop into my brain then, rather annoyingly, they'll make their presence known just as I'm drifting off into sleep. I cannot tell you how many brilliant blog post ideas or perfect opening sentences have just arrived or been given to me, without me even trying. (As long as I quickly jot them down that is! I've also lost probably double the amount because I mistakenly believed I'd remember them and didn't write them down. Don't do this! You won't!)

There's also this saying - 'when the student is ready, the teacher will appear'. It's true isn't it? Whenever I've found myself at a crossroads, to do with anything from motherhood to work, home renovations to style, as soon as I relax and stop overthinking, a teacher in some guise will appear at exactly the right time.

So sometimes, when movement fails and you still don't know what to do, you have to simply wait. Trust that an answer will come (it will) and listen out for it.

It's OK to take your time, when you don't know what to do. It's OK to give yourself or your head, some space.

Sometimes we need to move to get through the fog quickly. Other times, we need to stop, sit in the fog for a while and wait for it to clear.

Both, I find, do the trick eventually.

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Are you stuck in a personal style fog?

If you're stuck in a fog with your personal style and looking for a 'teacher to appear' then perhaps this may well be your sign.

Besides writing, I also work with women from the UK and across the world, in my role as a personal stylist. My work is about empowerment and it's a real privilege. Through colour analysis, body shape guidance or by helping them to discover their unique style personality, I essentially give women permission to be their best selves.

So if you're ready to move forward with your personal style and would like some empathic, professional help, please do get in touch for a chat. All services and prices can be viewed on my website and if you'd like to know how other women got on with their styling experiences, you can read their thoughts here.

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