GREAT STYLE REQUIRES COURAGE
- Katie Portman
- Oct 21
- 5 min read
Updated: Oct 23
(And this is how I know.)
Many years ago - as we celebrated ten years of marriage in Australia - my husband took me by surprise by telling a room full of people that my best attribute was my courage.
I was expecting him to mention a body part (!), so I was so ever so thrilled to hear him say that.
And whilst there are most definitely times when I feel like my courage has left the building, on the whole I guess you could probably say I’m pretty good on the courage front.
Whether that’s stepping out of my comfort zone or taking another leap of faith as a self employed woman, there’s no doubt that on more occasions than I can possibly count or recall, courage has been not just my best attribute, but also my greatest ally.
Courage propels us forward, helping us to be both brave and bold and can, I firmly believe, change our lives for the better, if we allow it too.
But what you might not have considered before, is just how important it also is to your personal style.
Besides being a writer, I’ve worked as a personal stylist now for over five years and during this time, I’ve had the absolute pleasure of meeting and working with hundreds of women on their personal style journeys.
And what I have learned - amongst many other things - is this.
The women who truly change the way they dress, are the ones who have the courage to do so.
I have seen it so many times.
If you really want to elevate your personal style and become the most beautiful, empowered - and most crucial of all - authentic version of yourself, you have to dig deep and find your courage.
So why does courage matter so much when it comes to your personal style?
Well, in a nutshell, without it, you’re more than likely to continue to play things a little small. Or dare I say it, safe.
Even after you’ve been to see a personal stylist like me. Even after you may have invested both money and time in an attempt to change the way you look and feel.
As a stylist, I can provide my clients with all the guidance, knowledge and encouragement I possess, but it won’t make much difference if they don’t have the courage to make the necessary changes or tweaks.
For example, I can introduce someone to their best colours and demonstrate how they light them up, but if they don’t have the courage to actually buy or wear these colours, then the joy and power of colour will always elude them.
I can provide a client with guidance on their body shape and encourage them to see themselves through more appreciative eyes, but if they don’t have the courage to tackle those critical inner thoughts, they will never be able to see themselves clearly or kindly.
I can take any woman shopping, show them my stylist tricks and help them pick out the most perfect pieces, but if they don’t have the courage to wear them once they get home, those pieces will never be able to work their magic.
Trying something new. Saying goodbye to the old previous version/s of ourselves. Embracing a colour instead of our usual black.
These are just some of the things that I often ask my clients to try and do and they all require a little bit of courage.
It isn’t easy for most women to suddenly change how they dress.
Making changes to our style (and ultimately therefore our identity) can and should be incredibly exciting but it can also make any of us feel nervous, unsure or vulnerable too.
This is because our brains love safety. They’re more than happy for us to continue dressing as we always have, even if we've known for years that our style doesn’t feel right, just because it’s familiar.
Which is why merely having the desire to elevate the way you dress isn’t quite enough. You need courage too.
Courage can, and will, be your greatest style ally, if you allow it to be.
When you want to wear a new colour, but are feeling nervous about turning up to work in it, your courage will whisper “do it, you look fabulous!”
When you want to invest more in a piece than you usually would and are feeling all kinds of uncomfortable emotions like guilt and fear, courage will remind you that you are indeed worthy.
When you want to dress in a way that brings you joy, but worry about what other people will think, courage will provide you with the fire in your belly to own who you are and look people in the eye with confidence.
The opportunity to elevate your personal style and look and feel fantastic, is always available to you but make no mistake - it’s a hell of a lot easier to dress and be your best, when you know you’ve got courage at your side.
How To Work Up The Courage To Elevate Your Style
For ‘scary’ colours start small and / or cheap.
For example, if red feels too bold for you to wear but you know it’s a great colour on you, embrace it just a little. You don’t have to go the whole hog and start swanning around in a full on red outfit, but you may want to consider painting your nails red or treating yourself to a red scarf that is as easy to remove as it is to put on. Wearing colours you are not familiar with will take some courage, especially if you’ve spent decades living in darker colours or neutrals. But, like with anything, once you flex your courage muscles, it does gets easier. Buy something small or invest cheaply in any colours that you like but are nervous about wearing.
Accept that people will look at you and make a judgement, but know that this is OK. Good even!
Let people look. Let them judge. I know it is easier said than done, but you must not allow the fear of judgment or ridicule to ever stop you from being or dressing as your best self.
People will always look! It’s just the way us humans are. So you may as well give them something good to look at.
I have often said to my styling clients, “If I don’t get at least one funny look on the school run, I haven’t tried hard enough with my outfit that day!” and whilst admittedly I am being a little tongue in cheek here, there is an element of truth in this.
Wear what you love and what makes you happy and let other people think and say what they want. The only opinion that should ever matter when it comes to your style, is yours and yours alone.
Experiment and challenge yourself to do one thing style wise, that feels out of your comfort zone.
For example, if you never wear a belt, dig one out from the back of your wardrobe and wear it.
If you never try on dresses when you go shopping, pick up a dress on your next shopping trip and head to the fitting room.
If you don't wear accessories usually, then why not challenge yourself to add at least one accessory to your look tomorrow.
Great personal style is about trying different things and experimenting until you hit that sweet spot.
Sometimes you’ll get something right and will feel amazing. Other times, you’ll discover that something doesn’t work for you.
But either way, whatever happens, all style experiments will provide you with invaluable knowledge, helping you to discover your personal style and become more of who you are.
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